Digital Banana: Discussion - Letters to the Monkey

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Discussion: Dear Monkey Sawyer
Letters from readers are added below. Submit your letter to Monkey Sawyer, Monkey in Residence Lord Monkey Sawyer! I love the page! It is a delight to come here.. I also love the witty way you deal with the less enlightened monkey lovers in the world. A big hello to my good friend "Monkie", whom is a big fan of your site. Keep up the good work, my Monkiesque friend! - Crymmie! DEAR CRYMMIE: You are too kind. I am a little confused about your reference to "the less enlightened monkey lovers in the world." Who doesn't love a monkey? There's something about the monkey that brings the world closer together. Forget nuclear weapons and peace treaties. Parachute a few monkey across enemy lines and we'll be a better world. Call me an idealist. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: I must admit, my love for monkeys has subsided and grown in an overwhelming cycle over the span of my lifetime, and has resulted in a healthy love for all simians in general. Much of this emotion has no doubt been brought on by the adventure gaming trilogy, Monkey Island, by Lucasarts. If these games are not familiar to you, then I would like to know what kind of monkey you think you are. They are all excellent and I think they should hold a place in your web page (if they don't already). One area of concern: a few weeks ago, my friend (who also loves monkeys) and I were having an insult fight and monkeys got caught in the battle. Insults ranged from the ever popular "bitch-monkey" to "gorilla slut", and, my personal favourite, "whorangutan". The outcome of this quarrel was an overall dissent on monkeys and an intense racism. This was inexcusable, and will never happen again, but the advantage that it provided was the experience of the outright hate of monkeys. Advantage? That seems more of a disadvantage, but I learned the lesson that this was a vile thing, that monkeys should be held at nothing less than the highest regards at all times, and treated as gods. No negative propaganda can be allowed to form against them. This would surely result in a catastrophic apocalypse and would mean the end for us all. Please write back regarding these concerns and your thoughts. Worriedly, Marc "Simian" Sawaya DEAR MARC "SIMIAN" SAWAYA: You scare Monkey Sawyer. Get help. Think I got to cry. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: mmmmmmm.........monkey stew......... DEAR VULGAR CANNIBAL: Sorry, you must have us confused this site with that of the school of monkey culinary arts. May the curse of the monkey paw descend upon you, or perhaps a wooden club. Have a nice day! Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: There are many monkey sites on the web, but finally one with just the right amount of "ooh" to tantalize even the least erect monkey enthusiasts. Thank you. PS: I sure like Monkeys. DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Your praise embarrasses me. Thank you, and remember, only you can prevent homo sapien reproduction. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: hey, monkey, greetings from visitor number 513 (ominous if u ask me). have never met you but am certain it's true love. your top ten delights me. after seeing it i know i can die happy! does better praise exist? digital or not u r a top banana ! DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Thanks for your praise. Happy dying! Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: I cry to the ally way,confess all to the rain,but I lie,lie straight to the mirrior,which Ive broken to match my face.the trash fire is warm,but no where safe from the storm,and I cant bare to see,what ive let me be,so wicked and worn..so as I write to you...of what is done and to do,maybe youll understand,and wont cry for this man,cause low man is due,please forgive me DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: You too scare Monkey Sawyer. But mostly, you confuse him. Stupid tears. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: MONKEYS RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND YOUR WEB SIGHT OF TOP 10 WAYS TO SLIP THE WORD "MONKEY" IN YOUR CONVERSATION I LAUGFED, I CRIED, I LOVED IT IM GOING TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS TO GO THERE, WELL GOT TO GO DONT EVER CHANGE UNLESS U ADD TO IT P.S. PUT A FEW MORE PICTURES OF MONKEYS BYE DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Thank you for your kind words of support. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: I LUV MONKEYS DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Remember, monkeys are 97 percent fat-free -- and always have been! Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: Pam looks like a monkey.I like monkeys. DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Actually, Pam resembles an orangutan. Don't beat yourself over the head with a banana -- it's an honest mistake. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: you are in the needing of some more monkeys on your home page.... i mean curious george and the flying evil monkeys are great but one longs to be monkeyd...... as exampled bye..... king kong (king of the wild frontmonkey) .... donkey kong.... diddy kong....dixie kong.... hong kong.... all the monkeys from the best movie ever planet of the apes... and of course....george...george...george of the monkeys....watch out for that banana!!! Thank you for paying my monkey his well brought on attention..... i am pleased with the monkey of your webing page and am hoping you are in the continuence of continuity on your paging of webitudity (not to be confused with webinudity) I leave you with a quote from the great film "banana wars".... and i quote "banana" end quote..... good afternoon and good night and good morning and goodness gracious great balls of fire..... DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: I agree on the need for more monkeys. I have assembled a team of the greatest minds in science and we hope to add more monkeys to these pages. Until then, we ask you to squint your eyes and steer your browser to the Liza Minelli appreciation page. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: Way too Cool Guys!!!!!! The Dirtmonkey...a whole new breed!! DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Thanks for the praise. It is refreshing to receive such warm words, especially from a member of the species we emulate and appreciate: the monkey. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: I don't have a comment I have a question maybe a question you could answer . Is it legal to own a monkey as a pet ? If you wouldnt know the answer do you know who I could contact ? And if it is legal who can I contact about getting one ? THANKS DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Sorry, but I cannot advise on the legality of owning a monkey as a pet. When obtaining a monkey, however, I can tell you that you should avoid the winged variety. They are messy and they are mean. Cordially yours, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: all monkeys suck and will die you suck too DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: Thank you for you kind words of support. Sincerely, M. Sawyer DEAR MONKEY SAWYER: I hate monkeys. You are stoopid and I hate you. Nevermind DEAR MONKEY ENTHUSIAST: They are indeed a vile specie [sarcasm]. Hatred is often acted out by monkeys in captivity by the throwing of feces at the object of this emotion. Have a Monkey Sawyer day! Sincerely, M. Sawyer Give your website a reliable host!